Been thinking, maybe overthinking? I think I’m extremely overthinking. I have been in the gender space for quite some time now. The few who know my story know that I had no intention whatsoever to run a charitable organization but it happened by chance. Inspired by testimonies of men whose spouses had undergone FGM. A conviction and passion was ignited with me to rally men and boys to join the noble cause of ending harmful practices and boom #MenEndFGM online campaign was born.
By then I had no idea of what Feminism was, but the more I got deeper on the #MenEndFGM online campaign the more the “ideology came closer to me”. I could not phantom the whole ideology -Equality of sexes they say. Twice I was asked, “what are you doing yapping engage men in the quest to end Female Genital Mutilation and yet they have no “fanny/vagina”. Once online and the second time to my face on the sideline of ICP-25 in Nairobi.
Then I thought why not go study and understand feminist ideologies – applied for the prestigious Chevening Scholarship and then I landed at the Institute of Development Studies at the University of Sussex. Little perspective this is the number one institute in development studies worldwide for the last 8-9 years consecutively. First shock in a class of 28 from 19 different Nationalities were 26 wonderful ladies and 2 gentlemen, my friend Rajneesh from India and I. This made me curious, I thought gender was about everyone. Do you mean this misconception is also at the highest level of academia? On further enquiry I was introduced to my friend Dr. Ifeh from Nigeria who was in the same class in 2006. To my shock in their year they were 2 guys one from Nigeria and one from Pakistan. This got me more curious and boom I went digging into the archives and to more shock this has been the trend since 2006 – 2021 when I was there. It has been the norm; 2,1 or no man in the class.
Back to the grassroots we have been blaming communities of having the misconception that gender is about women. Why blame the local man while in the highest institutions of learning the same is happening. All my professors were ladies, some non-conforming and just one gentleman. This weekend I had a conversation with a dear friend and we tried searching for any call for a proposal that targets men and boy’s interventions (we are looking for men led organizations) but we could barely find any. Majority of the calls go, women-led, survivor led, girl centered, women in climate, women in water etc… Well historically everyone knows that women and girls have been disadvantaged in many aspects of their lives and there is a need to empower them. But do we risk creating unnecessary conflicts by the way we structure our interventions? Could the proposal calls be a source of conflict already?
Back to feminist ideologies. The textbook definition is clear: we are looking at the equality of sexes. However, the deeper you go into this discourse the more complex it becomes. Recently an elderly man asked me an innocent question. “Young man I have been doing this work for more than 25 years but increasingly I am finding myself being asked to declare whether I am a feminist or not, what is so special with the ideology that I now have to declare”. Another on recently did a research in rural Kenya where one of the questions was to find out what rural folks understood by the term feminism. “Did you know that the majority of the rural folks have a negative connotation attached to this term?” she lamented to me. Many think its “wanawake wale wanapiga wanaume” “wale hawataki kuolewa” wale single mothers” wenye fitina etc. Well I disagree with their views but how do we sell this ideology to a hostile audience?
From my little schooling we have different feminist ideologies, however the radical and toxic tend to be the most vocal and have in one way or another overshadowed the rest. That’s my opinion you can have yours too. How do we ensure that communities are well sensitized and see the ideologies in a different perspective? How do we attract more men to the gender classes, how do we change the notion that gender is about women but all of us? We have an uphill task . ….
Good that you are not only overthinking, but also getting others to think about it. Through such blogs, the conversations you have – with all and sundry, men, academia, ourselves , and that you are doing something about your thoughts.
We need more equitable awareness and positive framing on and inclusive/ equitable policy, programming, social transformation and dialogue.
Please don’t stop thinking!
Interesting and thought provoking. It’s true that male champions for gender are scarce and often get entangled into whether they are feminists or not. Truth is we need male champions and female champions of gender. Men and women who can advocate for equal and equitable chances and opportunities for everyone
Interesting and thought provoking. It’s true that male champions for gender are scarce and often get entangled into whether they are feminists or not. Truth is we need male champions and female champions of gender. Men and women who can advocate for equal and equitable chances and opportunities for everyone